WHERE HAVE I BEEN?! For real.

Sep 7

Written By

Let’s get real -- okay that sounds really dramatic LOL. But seriously let’s get SERIOUS. Where the F have I been?! Ugh this is honestly so frustrating to write because as my new therapist says I’m too hard on myself, BUT I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO IT ALL! Basically, The breakdown of where I’ve been is as follows, I starting shooting two shows simultaneously. (I get sick the VERY first day). Now in production and SAG, shooting two shows is just not common because all of the acting “laws” there are.You have to have a 12 hour rest period in between call times and have to have two days off of the week, meal penalties etc. So basically when you’re shooting two shows with different productions, THE RULES DO NOT APPLY! I had no days off! Sometimes no 12 hour turn arounds! I def got my food although sometimes it would be late. And damn, it was HOT. That heat wave in LA was going to be the death of me! We were shooting a scene outside one day and I was in a LEATHER dress and it felt like there was a stove top on my back. I wish I was being dramatic but I digress. I got to shoot two AMAZING shows.Whilst shooting there’s not much time for content which gives me anxiety, but I am so excited for you guys to see these new series! One is unscripted aka I’m just me Lauren Elizabeth, and one is scripted where I play a crazy drunk girlfriend. My boyfriend in the show is actually played by a good friend of mine who’ve I shot a comedy with before, Cody Ko, so that was a blast. And the whole series was written and directed by my other good friend Jimmy Tatro, so needless to say I didn’t stop laughing all day. Twas a blast! The day after I wrapped those two shows I was off! I headed to a trip in Miami that almost didn’t happen due to the amount of workload I had taken on during that time but I BEGGED my managers to move my schedule around. “I never ask for anything social I always put work first please just this once!” - Me. So by the grace of God my Miami trip was a go and I headed out to the hot sweaty Vegas like place to see my best girlfriends of 10 years. I am so glad we take a trip the 7 of us every year. I have such amazing friends in LA but there’s something so different about your day one home friends. We talk everyday in a group chat but they see each other all week in Chicago (where we’re from) while I’m on the other side of the country! (RUDE, UNFAIR, FOMO!). The fun lasted a solid three days and I got back to LA unpacked, repacked and got on my next flight to Canada to film some fun stuff with La Mer and learn about the brand. It was one of the most gorgeous places I’ve been to ever. Same old same old, got home repacked and was off a day later to Sweden which is 9 hours ahead of me. I’m surprised I didn’t get sick but I slept as much as possible. I went to Sweden to creative direct the shoot for all XLE e-commerce and the campaign shoot. It was A DREAM COME TRUE! Seeing all my creations come to life literally a YEAR later and knowing in just a few days it all becomes REALLY REAL! It was truly the best feeling in the world. I’ve never felt more in my element with something creative besides acting. But this was different because I was behind the scenes and directing which was so much fun. It was such a learning experience and I’m so lucky to have the XLE team that aren’t rookies like me. I get to put my unique touch on it while they keep me in line with how these things usually go in e commerce.Truly, INSANE. Speaking of insane, I also went a little insane. Do NOT quote me on that because it’s not that dramatic lol. Traveling and doing so much just truly kills me with my anxiety. I’ve already been dealing with so much chaos in my personal life that although the work was the perfect distraction and I love being busy, I always end up hitting my wall. I become too hard on myself for having so many ideas I can’t physically execute and then realize I haven’t seen any of my friends or family in so long. It truly gets lonely and fills you with the worst anxiety. I’ll call my boyfriend crying just not being able to pinpoint what’s wrong, it’s just an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. I guess if you have it, you know what I’m talking about. Luckily right before I left I got back into therapy. I knew it was time because life was beginning to be too much and I just needed someone to hold me accountable. That was the big word I realized I was drawn too. I know what I need to do, but it’s not always easy to do it ya know? So by having someone to talk to, bring me back to reality, and hold me accountable, that’s a recipe for success. I think it’s so important being open and honest with mental health. Just because I’m seeking help again doesn’t mean I’m hitting rock bottom or anything crazy. I think life just gets crazy and we let things slip, especially our emotional health. If our car has a funny sound, we RUSH it to the shop to make sure it’s okay. Yet when we’re sick, we try to just treat ourselves. And when we’re sad, we don’t even seek help. It’s a crazy way of logic that’s been ingrained in us. So that’s where I’ve been! Working my ass off and trying to save my ass from a mental breakdown. LOL. Finally back in LA feeling grateful for all the amazing opportunities I’ve had this summer and beyond excited to start this new chapter of new content, creations, and series with you guys! I hope you all had an amazing summer and can’t wait to get in the Fall spirit together!